Renee vs Betty...: Linguine Al-FAKE-o!

Interestingly, you can make linguine Alfredo without wheat or dairy... More interestingly, NOBODY you talk to will believe you can. Haha, all you non-believers, I love a challenge!

Here are some comments I got when I said I was making a wheat-and-dairy-free Alfredo sauce:

-"So Alfredo sauce without butter or cheese. What the hell is in it?"

-"Good luck with that!"

-"WHY???"

-"Ew. Why does that have to sound so gross?"

Here are my answers: tofu, thanks, because, and huh????

For the vegans out there, I apologize, but the chicken REALLY helped the taste factor, I'm sure there would be a good soy-based alternative. I can only ask so much of Scott, too.

Anyway, I really wanted to know if there was any way to make this in a healthy, but tasty way. I sometimes crave the bad stuff, despite the fact that I suffer the worst "food hangovers" when I let myself cheat. I looked up a couple of recipes online to get some inspiration, but as I live in Northern Ontario, it's not as easy to come across some of the ingredients that are easily accessible in bigger cities. Not only that, some of the "healthy foods" out there are pretty expensive. Goat Parmesan sounds great, but I live in a town where if I WERE to find it, it would probably cost me about $40 an ounce. Not. Gonna. Happen.

I ended up with Kamut Linguine, Fresh Basil, Pepper, Soy Milk (get unsweetened, trust me), Extra-Firm Tofu, Kosher Salt, Lemon-Herb Chicken Breasts, Mushrooms, Broccoli, Oregano, Red Pepper Flakes, Garlic, White Wine (which is why this is technically not yeast-or-sugar-free, but come on... it's wine, I'm pretty sure it's the second tier of Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, along with PVR and sparkly lip-gloss) and Arrowroot Starch. The arrowroot starch is supposed to be an easily digestible, more natural thickener that cornstarch. Call me vain, but it's also half the calories, so I gave it a try...

I also bought a jar of REAL Alfredo sauce for Scott, as I have come to subscribe to the "I will experiment and make my bed and sleep in it, but you should not suffer on my behalf" mantra. Trust me, the man pays his dues, eating garbage for dinner is asking too much.

All I did was saute the garlic in olive oil, threw in the chicken, and then took it back out. I then deglazed with the wine and took it off the heat. Then I added the soy milk and the tofu, and hand-blended it until "smoothish." If you are looking for "smooth," I'd suggest using softer tofu and more starch. I then added all the spices and kept tasting until the broccoli was steamed, the mushrooms and the chicken were heated through and the pasta was cooked. Then I threw in a little arrowroot starch at the last minute (otherwise, it apparently loses it's "thickening ability) and poured it over the pasta, mushrooms, chicken and broccoli. The texture was a little like someone added WAY too much Parmesan to regular sauce, but all in all, success. Scott was given a "get out of this meal free" card and he opted to try it. He ate a whole plate, and we're still married.

Yay for Al-FAKE-o! And a husband who will try anything once!